Dispatcher Basics: Habits for a lifetime

I am fortunate to meet many new dispatchers in my travels.  Some of them are even courageous enough to ask for advice on how to make sure they succeed in the profession. This blog is, in part, a tool to answer those questions.  But one of the most unappreciated tools to ensure success are the habits we create when we first start out.  Those little things we do every day to make sure we are focused, prepared, and ready to go into action.  They can also help make sure we do the best job possible with every call, every day.  Here are a few suggestions to help your professional and personal life as you start out in this career. 

1) Have a set wake up time every day and stay as close to it as possible.  Also, do not get up too close to the start time of your shift.  Leave time in the couple of hours before your shift to eat breakfast (or whatever first meal is appropriate); read and relax a minute; take a walk or so some other physical exercise for at least 15 minutes; and make your way into work.  Having a stressful start to your day then going into a stressful job is a recipe for emotional and physical disaster.  In this case, getting that extra hour of sleep is not as helpful as managing the start of your day effectively. 

2) Try to get to work at least fifteen minutes early.  Take the time to grab your coffee or water, say hello to the off-going shift, learn about what is going on, and then start your work day.  Rushing in like a crazy person, failing to develop your situational awareness, and just plopping down does not start your shift in an effective manner.  

3) I know that we are in a paperless world, but the most important tool I ever used was a piece of scrap paper at my position.  I blocked the paper (think tic-tac-toe board) and used each block for the notes to a specific call or incident.  When I was done with that bloc I put one line through the block. The important part was that the information in the block was still legible if I needed to go back to it, but I also had tracked my completion of the related task. 

4) If at all possible, get up and move around regularly.  The human body is not designed to sit for long periods, or to have bad posture.  This can lead to all kinds of health problems.  On a related note, DITCH THE SODA!  Water, Unsweetened Ice Tea; a respectable amount of coffee-- those are all fine.  But avoid the sugary drinks at your position.  Try to keep yourself hydrated.  A good plan is to bring a very large water bottle-- drinking one on the first half of the shift and another bottle on the second half.  

5) If possible in your center- rotate your position half way through the day.  Doing one thing for eight, twelve, or sixteen hours can turn your brain into mush.  Its not a bad idea to switch positions halfway through.  This helps keep our minds fresh and gets us to use different skill sets.  

6) Try to go for a walk on your break.  Every little bit helps and even just a stroll around the parking lot helps combat the negative impacts of working at a console in a 9-1-1 center for a shift.  

7) Read at least one professional article each shift.  The world of 9-1-1 is always changing.  There is never an end to what you can learn.  During a down time, take a moment to read about something new, or how some other agency handled a major event.  Whatever it is, make learning a part of everyday you spend at work.  

8) When the time comes to leave, take some time to talk to the next person sitting in your seat.  What happened during the shift?  Is there something that the next person should really know about?  This information exchange is a huge part of a successful 9-1-1 center.  

9) When you leave the building for the day, take a few deep breaths.  Think about something that went well during your shift.  It doesn't have to be huge, even a small success is helpful.  Too often we focus on the bad, even when there is only one bad thing compared to 500 good.  Reflect on the good that happened during that day and head home. 

Tomorrow's shift will be here before you know it. 

Dispatcher Basics: Having a Bad Day

This will come as no surprise to someone that has been in the 9-1-1 world for longer than a week or two, but there will be Bad Days.  Very Bad Days.  The details of what may be a bad day for you are perhaps different from nearly every other person you work with.  This is perfectly normal.  We have different reactions to different events.  For one, a robbery may involve their favorite restaurant and impact longtime friends.  For someone else, the bad day may involve a call about a sick child, or a fire at their beloved church.  

This was driven home to me early in my career.  I had the challenge/privilege of working with more than a few crusty old tough guys in the FDNY.  They were certainly not the emotional type and were more accustomed to barking rather than speaking.   

One early morning, while working in the Bronx, we had a working fire in a pet store.  Not a particularly dramatic fire, but some of the animals were lost.  The sight and sound of the reaction of one of our "tough old guys" when the Incident Commander reported the fire likely to be arson is one I will never forget.  Fatal Fires involving people had never resulted in so much as a grunt.  But the anger, rage and sadness brought upon by this small fire in a New York City Pet Shop was as intense as it was unexpected.  

The point of this is to say, particularly to our new folks in the center, be prepared.  Have people you can speak to about what happens over the course of your shift, especially if it impacts you in a strong way.  Maybe these are co-workers, friends, or dispatchers from other agencies.  Perhaps it is a family member, partner or spouse, although that may not be the best choice depending on their personal experiences and abilities to handle stressful events.  Having a healthy physical outlet is also helpful, such as working out or hiking or anything that provides an outlet for the stress.  

Whoever or whatever it is, have it in place before you have that really bad day. And after the crazy bad day is over, be ready to take advantage of the system of support you have in place.  Along the way, accept and understand that it is perfectly normal to have a reaction to the things you will face in this amazing career.  Do not listen to those who say "just get over it" or "ignore it"-- that is the most unhealthy thing you can ever do and will lead to all kinds of bad outcomes.  This strategy and many other will help you to help yourself-- and others-- and have a much more successful and healthy life inside and outside of the 9-1-1 center. 

Dispatch Basics: "Splitting the Assignment"

Here is the scenario: two fire related incidents occur in the same proximity back to back or within five minutes of each other. They are not close enough to be likely duplicates but are close enough that they would have the same assignment (or very close to the same) for each incident. But, since these two runs are happening at the same time, the response to the second incident is made up of units that are responding from a greater, maybe even MUCH greater distance. In this scenario you should consider "splitting the assignment" responding to the first incident.  

Here's out it would work:

13:30 hours 

123 East Main Street- Fire Alarm 

Assigned: Engine-1,2 Ladder-1 

(Estimated time of 1st arrival: 1 minute)

13:32 Hours

205 East Main Street- Gas Leak

Normal assignment: Same as above. 

But in this case: Engine-3,4 Ladder-2. (Estimated time of 1st arrival: 6 minutes) 

In this case, consideration should be given to sending the second due engine on the fire alarm assignment to the Gas Leak and replacing them on the fire alarm with the last due engine on the gas leak. Note: when advising the IC that their second engine was "redirected" you may also ask if they want a replacement, sometimes they will not and the now extra engine can be cancelled (depending on your agency's SOPs)

This action reduces response time significantly, however it requires some thought and consideration before you undertake it:

1) Which incident is the higher priority? If the first is a fire, then it likely wont be smart to take units off that assignment for a lower priority incident. The reverse is also true, if the second call is a fire with people trapped and the first was a fire alarm or low priority call, it may be wise to redirect the entire assignment to the second incident and replace them on the fire alarm. 

2) Where are the units coming from? Are they all training at Station-1, so the response time is actually not impacted?  Or are they all coming from a distant academy or station so there is no point to making any changes?

3) How long has the first incident been out? If they have been there awhile, they may be able to put those units in service and all respond to the new incident. (Advising the IC that you have another incident in the area and asking about availability may be a very wise move). Likewise, have the units on the 2nd incident already arrived?  If so, there is no point to cancel them! 

4) What is the next run to go out?  dispatchers for ems and fire should always be aware of the next run that is in queue behind the one they are dispatching. Sometimes dispatchers will assign a unit to a low priority call when a higher one comes right behind it that the unit they have just assigned should be reaponding to. This adds confusion, can impact response times, and is a sign of a potential lack of awareness. Take just a moment to look and see the big picture before you send out an incident. You may help save time, or a life. 

Hope this opens some minds to the ways that effective, dynamic, empowered and proactive dispatching can reduce response times and help improve effectiveness!

Dispatch Basics: My Supervisor Hates Me

Psst.  Hey You.  Yes you. You are the new person right?  Well come over here.  (Note: use the Scott Farkas voice from Christmas Story here).  I want to talk to you. You need to know something.  It is really important.  Ready? Ok, here it is...

Not everyone you work with in the 9-1-1 Center will like you right away.

There, I said it.  Are you okay?  Good  Now go do your damn job. 

Listen, I know that we all seem to want everyone to like us, always.  And that we have a real issue with bullying and negativity in the workplace which truly make some places miserable to work in.  There are more than a few nasty people out there in the seats.  However, there is another side to the growing concern about bullying and negativity that we must also acknowledge if we are to be successful. 

As a new Dispatcher in the 9-1-1 Center, other people are dependent on you.  The public is dependent on you.  The Director is dependent on you, as well as all of the responders who are on the other side of the radio or the phone.  This means they have to rely on you  100% of the time.  How many careers of 9-1-1 professionals have been tanked by the actions of someone else in the room?  (Don't answer, its better not to think about it)

Now, if all of these other folks depend on you, they must trust you completely.  That does not happen overnight.  It happens, if it happens, because you prove yourself by your actions and attitude to be trustable.  If you are late, if you don't learn what you need to, if you have a bad attitude, it means that your co-workers will be unable to trust you.  That is a sick and sad feeling not just for you, but for them too!  

Imagine you have to have a major operation.  The Doctor walks in and looks like he or she is 18 years old.  You find out that this will be the first surgery that they have ever performed after graduating med school at 18. You are told they are the smartest doctor ever.  But, there are no online reviews.  There is no history to review.  Its just you, a brand new doctor, their story, and the operating room. Good Luck!

How would you feel in this situation compared to being operated on by the doctor you have had for twenty years?  I can safely assume you would feel more comfortable trusting your future to someone you know, even if they maybe aren't the smartest doctor ever or the 21st century version of Doogie Houser.  

This is why building that trust is so critical.  It is why new folks are often held at a distance by a shift and/or a supervisor.  Until they learn to trust you, they have to be that way.  Their careers, the lives of the responders they are friends with (or maybe married to!) are on the line and in your hands.  That doesn't give them the right to be rude or not help you, but it is likely why they wont invite you to play the "Reindeer Games" on your first weeks on shift.  This does not warrant a complaint to the HR department or for you to quit in anger that they are not "buddy-buddy" with you like they are with each other. 

It is much more a call to action on your part and a hint at what is possible once your prove yourself.  The family feeling of being in the 9-1-1 world is not an automatic benefit of walking in the door.  It is a result of being a valued member of the team whom others can count on.  To paraphrase the Old Smith Barney Commercials: "We make our best team the old fashioned way, by having our dispatchers earn the trust of their co-workers",

So, don't be shocked when it takes a while for everyone to warm up to you.  Do the right thing. Every shift and every day.  And if you make a mistake, own up to it, apologize, and ask for insight on how you can do better.  That is how you build trust, how you become a valued member of the team, and how you will have a successful career. 

By all means, if there is real harassment going on, report it.  But often, its just the normal process of building an effective team playing out.  Take the time to know the difference and accept that you might be the outsider for a little while.  Keep your ears open, mouth closed, and, in-time, you will be a full fledged member of the team and know first-hand the wonderful feeling of earning your trophy from hard work and dedication, instead of just having it handed to you for showing up.  More importantly, you will know what its like to be a part of the 9-1-1 family and experience the trust and respect that will result.

Getting A Little Older, and maybe wiser

It was not the worst thing you could hear from the Doctor. The "C" word was not  mentioned, nor some imminent life threatening issue. In the world of medical conditions hearing that you must have your gall-bladder removed; that you have crossed the line into "minor" non-insulin dependent type-2 Diabetes and that you have a "Fatty Liver" is not the end of anything.  I suppose. 

But what it does do is drag your mind to the life you have lived.  The choices you have made. And the choices you will make. The cliché but entirely operative phrase is "wake-up call".  In combination with yesterday's dental appointment that felt more like the prep work for a mission to Mars.--"Yes, Mr. Carver, we will need about 10 visits to do everything we want to do this year and about $5,000"-- I guess its no wonder I feel a bit broken down. 

In the depth of that feeling, my mind can't help but wander back though to the pews of Riverside.  The lesson that we often only elevate ourselves to a higher place by leveraging the bounce off the bottom.  Although this is not really a bottom, it is definitely a bounce.  Drastic reduction in alcohol intake.  French Fries and Hamburgers gone.  Pasta in most forms a memory, along with steak.  And fried clam strips.  And Ice Cream.  Yikes. 

Well, at least I still have my oatmeal.  And my family.  And my friends.  And My boyfriend.  And God.  And road-trips.  And Diners.  And, as far as I can tell, Airplanes and Photography and writing are perfectly safe on my new diet.  I can catch up on Tales from Lake Wobegon while living on the treadmill.  Guess what Planet Fitness, I will be back. 

Life is about change. Adjusting to the realities that we are faced with, powerless to change and thereby required to accept.  That is our challenge.  To move beyond the fear and the anger, the anxiety and the memory, to understand that the most successful of forms are the most adaptable.  The least excitable. The least fearful.  And the most loving. 

So I will start my new diet. I will change my ways.  I will loose this thirty-five pounds that taunts me each morning in the mirror.  I will say goodbye to my second biggest enemy (the one that looks like a shriveled up raisin.. no, not that one, the OTHER one that looks like a shriveled up raisin) but the journey will continue.  Informed on this day by the reminder that our choices do have consequences.  That we must take care of our bodies, and that I am still able to make things better.  For many who get that Doctor's Call, there is no action.  There is no effort. Only acceptance.  Thank God that call wasn't mine.  So onward we shall go. More appreciative, more understanding, and perhaps a little more grateful.

Dispatch Basics: being a leader

Who is a leader inside the 9-1-1 Center?  This question is one of the first I ask my students and their answers reveal a great deal about how they see themselves and their role in the Public Safety Community.  I invite them (and you) to always answer this question with: everyone. 

Quite frankly, the work that we do is too important to allow leadership to only be the job of a chosen few.  After all, the first person that we are required to lead is ourselves.  If we can't put the effort in to be the best Dispatcher we can be, to make the trek to work even when there are five feet of snow, or be professional with the caller or unit that we would like to throttle in the throat, well how can we ever hope to lead others?

Too often we think of leadership as some giant crazy task.  Solving Global Warming; being elected to office; or being the modern incarnation of Patton that we fail to see how we can practice leadership in smaller ways. Given that most people never experience the world altering form of leadership (at least directly) those moments of smaller leadership are our best chance to demonstrate leadership and make at least a little part of the world a better place. 

Think about this inside your center.  Do you learn anything and everything you can?  Do you take time out to support the new person?  Or answer a question from the public that may take more time than you like?  Do you go the extra mile to figure out exactly where the incident is?  Or make sure you tell the oncoming shift supervisor everything they need to know? 

These are just some of the many ways that you can choose to live leadership inside your agency.  There are many others as well.  But they all require you to accept that you are leader already.  Are you a good leader or a bad leader?  Do you build people up or tear people down?  Is the shift better with you there?  Or with you at home?

I strongly feel that with the nature of our profession and the types of people who find their way into our seats, there are no middle ground people.  They are leading one way, or the other.  If we had more people leading in the positive direction, I think that many of our issues with morale, workplace drama, and quality assurance would ebb.  But the first step is to change what all of our sister and brother dispatchers see when they look in the mirror. 

It can not be someone who thinks success starts with someone else,  that a positive job environment is someone else's responsibility or that making things better is above their paygrade. 

The truth is something much different.  Success (or failure) start with you!  And that makes you a leader whether you want to be or not.

Dispatcher Basics: Listening from home

This maybe extra controversial, but I am just going to go ahead and say it.  Being a professional means we sometimes need to do work related things outside of work.  I am sorry.  After all, a Doctor isn't only a doctor from 9am-5pm, nor is a Police Officer going to ignore the robbery on their way home since they are off duty. 

Now, I am not saying that you should take 9-1-1 calls from home, but there are a couple of things you can do on your time away from work that will help you be a better dispatcher.  We have talked about exploring your area, visiting public safety facilities, and marking up your map, but there is something else too that will go a long way toward taking your career from Good to Great-- occasionally listening to radio traffic from your agency and/or others.  

With the presence of online access to scanner feeds (both in app form and via websites) it has never been easier to listen to good (or bad) radio traffic from the comfort of your own car or couch.  You don't have to do it all the time, but taking some time to put it on, maybe while doing other things, will help develop your dispatcher ear from a whole new prospective. . 

Now, don't be a jerk about it. Don't call in to day shift and say "you are doing it wrong" if you hear something you don't like. Just be an interested observer and try to picture in your mind the rest of the story.  This is incredibly helpful for new dispatchers just starting out.  For those who have already been on awhile, try listening to a big city and see how they handle large volumes of radio traffic.  You may find it confusing at first, but with some exposure you will quickly follow what's going on. 

For those that have a regular place they travel to for vacation, that might be a good choice as well.  You might be just familiar enough to be able to better understand the goings on.  Again, use this as a tool to buildup your "ear"; identify new techniques that may help inform your own style, and remember, we all do things just a little differently. 

Dispatch Basics: Driving Around

Following up on the post about maps, I wanted to take a moment and speak to something that some new Dispatchers either don't do or are not told to do.  Exploring the area they serve.  The senior dispatchers who trained me in NYC could literally tell you what was on every corner in the borough of Brooklyn.  When fire companies from other boroughs came to Brooklyn, they would ask for directions and always be provided the best possible route, whether they were responding to an incident or on a relocation.  This was not only an impressive ability to have, it led to better results and reduced response times.  This level of awareness and knowledge you just can't get from a GPS.

So how do you get this level of knowledge?  Get out from behind the console and explore.  Take a different way to work every day and a different way home.  By the way, while you are out exploring, stop and visit the firehouses, the police stations or the EMS building.  Bring a box of donuts or some coffee with you and take the time to ask questions, show some interest and learn about what goes on at the other end of the radio.  Memorize your patrol districts, firehouse locations, and EMS response areas.  Do you think it sounds cool when a member of the public calls, asks where the police station is, and you have to say hold on while I google it?  What do they need us for in the first place then?

Make your visits productive.  Ask what areas present unique challenges to responders.  Are there areas that Police always enter cautiously; a building the Fire Department is extra concerned about; or retirement facility that only calls 9-1-1 when the resident is well past the point of CPR? How about areas that flood easily, causing access problems?  Or places that are prone to brush fires?  Whatever it is, you will likely not learn it (or understand it) from just sitting behind the console. 

Dispatching is a profession, or so we like to believe.  Well, being a professional means going the extra mile to gain more knowledge than might be required for the day to day, run of the mill shift.  And that is perfectly okay.  So take the time, take the drive, and maybe someday you too will know what is on every corner of your jurisdiction. 

Dispatch Basics: Maps (the paper kind)

"We don't need to have room for paper maps, we are going paperless!" -- comments from a living dinosaur on new consoles being designed for a 9-1-1 center in 2005.

I am sure you will not be surprised to know those consoles sit today with maps taped all over them.  As they should be.  This may come as a horror for those in the management field at 9-1-1 centers, but paper maps are a good thing.  We need to stop thinking that banishing them from the Center is some amazing sign of forward progress.  Sort of like curing polio or creating world peace.  It is actually a symptom of disorientation and the loss of one of the most important tools we have. 

From my prospective, this issue is the result of a fundamental misunderstanding of the purpose of maps in the center.  First, they are about learning.  The area you protect, the nuances of the local geography, the places and landmarks that will be used by callers.  There are many studies that show we learn much better when we write things down.  What better way to learn your community than by "decorating" your map book of the jurisdiction where you work?  Labelling the firehouses; the ambulance stations; and the patrol sectors for the police department.  Putting the contact phone numbers for certain buildings next to them, or jotting down the cheat for that one location that wont go into CAD.

Second, they are about doing research and being able to see things interact with each other in a physical manner.  This is the difference between taking GPS directions, turn by turn, and actually plotting how to get from one place to another.  If that part of the process is not understood, the Dispatcher begins to become an automaton instead of a knowledgeable professional.  Storms, Hazmat Incidents, Large brush fires-- all just some examples of when the dispatcher must have a bigger understanding of the geography of their area. 

To often, the goal has been to make sure what the dispatcher does supports the technology that we buy.  Instead, the technology should support what the dispatcher does.  The map on screens are nice and colorful and a great supplemental tool, especially when they help to locate a caller who may not otherwise know where they are. 

But that map is not an educational tool for a dispatcher.  It does not allow them a point of reference when they are driving around exploring the community they serve.  In the day and age of consolidation en masse, this is an even greater tool that we must encourage.  Especially since dispatchers may be handling calls for areas they do not regularly visit. 

Yes, you should have the map in CAD or the phone system that can help with the caller's location.  But that doesn't mean you can forgo the ancient dispatcher process of paper maps or map books and learning where things are in relation to other things.  Come to think of it, maybe I am a little bit of dinosaur too.  Hey, do you know what kind of tape works best on our new consoles?

Dispatch Basics: Firefighter Down

It is with a great sense of sadness that I have read today's reports from Hamilton (Ohio) were a firefighter was killed in a house fire as a result of falling through a floor, into the basement.  This is never an easy thing for any department or community to go through.  With it occurring during what should time a time focused on family, friends, and celebration it is only more tragic. 

Unfortunately, the process of handling firefighter mayday situations is one I experienced on multiple occasions during my time with the FDNY. Most of them had positive outcomes, however more than a few did not.  In each of the cases where personnel were lost, I am proud to say I was part of a team that helped to make sure that those involved had the best possible chance of survival.  The women and men of FDNY Fire Dispatch repeatedly demonstrated their skill, knowledge, creativity, and decision making ability when confronted by these horrific incidents. 

The ability of Dispatch Personnel to help ensure successful outcomes for firefighters at the scenes of fires and emergencies starts from the first day of the training process and it continues for the duration of a dispatcher's career.  I would like to share some of the specific lessons learned in the hope that when you have to face this type of event (and I hope you don't) you too will help to ensure as successful an outcome as possible. 

1) It starts with learning.  Everything. (Or as close as you can).  You can never know too much about fireground operations; the equipment your agency (and your neighbors) have available and how that equipment is used.  Understand the difference between a supply line and a hand-line.  Learn about the buildings in your jurisdiction, the unique threats present and other critical nuances. More importantly, share important information about the incident with responders in an effective manner.  Is the second due company delayed?  Do you have reports of people trapped in the building?  Is there a history of previous fires at the location?  There are many possible examples, but remember, if it is especially critical, share it!

2) Stay Calm.  No matter how crazy it gets- YOU are the voice of calm and reason. The odds are that the IC may have never managed a firefighter down scenario in real life.  You will have to ensure that things remain calm, collected, and controlled.  If you have an SOP for this scenario, you may have to guide the IC a little bit, especially if you have a checklist of tasks that you know are required. If a greater alarm is required to be transmitted when a mayday occurs, I hope the policy states to go ahead and do it- not to wait on the IC to say it.  Taking the burden off the IC for what should be automated decisions allows the IC to focus on the task at hand- rescuing the firefighter(s).

3) Listen to the fire-ground radio channels.  For some agencies this is mandated.  For others it is by choice.  Whenever possible, try to listen to what is going on just to improve your understanding of the operations and how they are going.  That same tone of voice awareness that works for being an effective call-taker works for being an effective fire-ground dispatcher as well.

4) Maintain Radio Discipline and Control.  During these types of events there is great potential for radio chaos.  Make sure that all transmissions are as brief as possible. Especially on the radio channel where the mayday is being handled, radio congestion can be the difference between life and death. 

5) Make your Notifications. For some agencies, transmission of a mayday requires other personnel to be notified. Often these are critical personnel who will be needed at the scene.  The sooner they know, the sooner they can go.  Try not to hold up these notifications if at all possible.  This includes updating the history of the incident in CAD with the comments and reports from the scene.  Make sure that this will be easily understood by anyone reading them later.  This will make the entire process of understanding the incident much easier.  Along the same line, the dispatchers involved should, at the conclusion of the incident, write down notes for future use:  what position where they staffing; memorable details from the incident, etc.

6) Do not share information with outsiders unless specifically told to do so-- personally or professionally.  In this media driven age, there will likely be many calls for information.  Write down a prepared statement in line with your policy on media relations and read it verbatim to any media outlet that calls. "The fire department is currently operating at a fire at _____________.  The fire department will provide additional information at a later time".  Or some such thing.  This also means that dispatch personnel should never post about the incident on social media until after it has been officially released by the in-charge agency.  I have seen first hand the name of firefighter who was being given CPR out on Facebook before that firefighter was even transported to the hospital and long before the family was notified!  This is wrong on many, many levels. 

7) Assign one dispatcher to the incident. If at all possible, one dispatcher in the center should be assigned the sole responsibility of handling a fire with maydays and/or a firefighter down.  This is critical to ensure an effective understanding of operation, passing of information, and general dispatch effectiveness.  For those centers that are understaffed, consideration should be given to calling in personnel to support operations whenever a firefighter down/mayday situation occurs.

8) Participate in the debrief/CISD process.  For most dispatchers, the handling of a firefighter down incident will be one of the most traumatic experiences of their career.  They must be included in the PTSD/CISD process that occurs after the event.  Supervisors, Directors, and Managers of 9-1-1 centers have a moral responsibility to ensure this happens. 

9) Have a checklist!  Dispatch Personnel and the Fire Department(s) They dispatch should sit down together and develop a procedure to manage these types of events.  Even a simple ten item checklist will support improved operations during what is always a very high stress situation.  This should be drilled on and trained on regularly.  Many Fire Departments practice firefighter down drills, but I do not know of any that include their Dispatchers in these drills.  That needs to change. 

10) It can happen anytime, anywhere!  Firefighters are (sadly) hurt in all kinds of fires and at all kinds of incidents.  An apparatus or personnel may be struck at the scene of an accident, or a member may suffer a heart attack at the scene of a fire alarm.  It doesn't have to be the biggest fire of the year to cause a mayday situation.  Further, they often happen earlier in the incident rather than later.  These are just some of the reasons why dispatch personnel need to be vigilant, aware, and capable of rapid effective action when this happens. 

Dispatching Basics: "It Takes a Village to Make a Probie"

     One of the universal truths for all 9-1-1 centers is that there will be new people.  In the fire service, and some dispatch agencies these are referred to as "probies", short for Probationary Employee.  Whatever they are called, however, they are the most important resource your agency has, unless you want to continue answering phones until you are well into your eighties or beyond.  After all, we can't keep doing the job forever, so we need to make sure there is a next generation to replace us.  

     Sadly this process doesn't go as easily or smoothly as we would like it.  An entire book could be written on the process of recruitment, hiring, training, evaluation and retention (and perhaps it will be).  But I would like to keep this short so lets just focus for a minute on some critical things that the new person needs to know and the people already on the job need to know.  If you have additions to this please share. 

To Those Already On The Job: 

     The new person does not arrive fully formed with everything they need to know bestowed by the training process, their life's experience, or time spent watching Chicago Fire, COPS or even CHiPs. They will only be a successful employee if you provide an environment for them to be successful.  Even if you have never seen yourself as a trainer, CTO, or anyone close to having official mentoring responsibilities, the truth is they need you to help them.  Be patient, be open minded, but be firm and fair in the process.  Understand that how you treat them in their first weeks and months on the job will have more impact on their career than you can ever imagine. 

Do not use the way you were treated as the road-map for how you should treat your new person.  Use instead the road map of how you SHOULD have been treated.  In dealing with adults this means treating people with respect, appreciation, and understanding.  It is not easy to learn new things.  Does this mean that every new person should always stay in the job, of course not.  Some people will wash out, that is just the way it is.  Sadly, many good dispatchers are lost to the poison of bad coworkers.  Either they don't accept them, don't help them or just don't care.  We are better than that.  

If we are a profession, then it means we should support those who come into the profession behind us.  Be a resource, be helpful, be kind, and show by example what a great dispatcher can and should be.  Even if you never work directly with the new hire, leading by example is a powerful tool for creating our next great generation of Dispatchers.  Do your part.  Please.  

To The New People: 

     Welcome to one of the world's greatest professions.  You are now part of a family, which is a good thing and a bad thing.  Your feelings will get hurt.  Get over it.  Your opinion may not be welcomed, get over it.  You will be expected to be the first person in the center every shift and the last one to leave.  Get over it.  You will have to learn to quietly listen and take in all that goes on around you, interjecting only when critically necessary.  That is as it should be.  Accept it.  You will be expected to learn and study when others may be taking a break.  That is the way it should be.  You will never gossip about your coworkers, tell stories "out of school" or badmouth people you work with. Make this truth the first and last thing you say to yourself each day.  If you can do these things, the people you work with will come to trust you and you will become a part of the team.  The people you work with will become like family.  They will help you, support you, take care of you, look out for you and your life will be far more "rich" for knowing them.  

     This will not be because you completed all the tasks on checklist.  It will not be because your words and opinions prove your worth to the organization.  No, your actions and your approach to your job will show others (and yourself) that you belong.  Imagine a baseball player who got the highest salary but never hit a home-run.  Or a chef who never stepped foot in a kitchen?  Its not what you say that earns you trust or builds your reputation, it is how you work.  Show your fellow dispatchers you care by your actions. 

     Take the time to learn and never stop.  Go to the weddings and the funerals.  Sign the birthday cards.  Bring in food for the shift once in a while.  Take part in the important rituals that are part of any great organization.  Most of all, learn how to be a great dispatcher.  We learn not by speaking, but by listening, watching, showing an interest, and asking questions.  This is hard.  In this day and age we want to share our opinion, to stake our claim.  This will not endear you to those you work with.  In public safety we must often act based on instinct, just knowing what is going on and what is required. In order for instinct to be effective, trust is required.  Do everything you can to build that trust and you will soon find out what many of us have known so long, being a part of the 9-1-1 world is one of the greatest jobs you will ever know.  

The Rush to Christmas Begins

Okay, I confess.  I broke my vow.  In the face of overwhelming temptation, ease of access, and a lapse in self control, I went shopping on Black Friday.  Not just any shopping, I went Big Box retail.  I darkened the door of a Wal-Mart, a Target, Michaels, and others.  It was late in the afternoon, long after the 6am hordes had fallen aside to exhaustion, frustration, and the weight of 1000 door-buster specials.  There were next to no lines and the only worn faces were those of the store employees, looking as though they had been at work since 4am because, well, they had.    

In the tattered remains of the Friday morning orgy of present purchasing, I have to say it wasn't all that bad.  Found what supplies I needed, a gift or two, and made my way home.  I have to say I suppose that many writers look forward to their annual proclamations of holiday pity. The mandatory mandate that Christmas is all about material goods and that we have lost the "thing" that made Christmas special, if we ever really had it in the first place. 

I am certain that the Bethlehem K-Mart had a blue light special holiday sale starting on the day after Thanksgiving year 0001.  Perhaps they even offered authentic looking Christmas Stars for the tops of whatever trees were the "in-thing" back then.  We really shouldn't be annoyed anymore by what the holiday has become, or surprised by it.
 
Waging a war against the commercialism of the Holiday, and the irony that a day devoted
to celebrating love, peace, and goodwill toward man is all about things that are so far removed it is seemingly pointless.  We have people who kill in the name of god because they are angry about killing; we have people who are "leaders" who mock the less fortunate, the sick, and the weak and the disabled and then claim to be religious. We have ministers who condone, promote, and celebrate hatred for people they do not understand. 

In the shadow of that "holy" light the world has gotten far crazier than is indicated by the number of wrapped boxes people obsessively pile under their Christmas tress.  Perhaps hoping that quality of gift can make up for quality of life or love.  Not really shocking at all is it that the meaning of things has gotten a little off track. 

One of my favorite things about the Holiday was the initial reason I ventured out on that darkest of Fridays.  In my recent move, I managed to misplace four of my favorite Christmas CDs, including the one that, for me, is the key to unlocking the Christmas Spirit.  It is the soundtrack to a Charlie Brown Christmas.  Each season, its the first CD  that I have to listen to before I can put up the tree, write a single card, or enjoy a flickering Christmas Bulb.  

Therefore, my mission to find a replacement was essential.  I was convinced it would be easy to find.  After all, who really wants an understated jazzy Christmas CD that reminds you of the simple truths of Christmas and of ourselves.  In the face of the endless chatter on TV, the political nonsense that passes for our Republic, and a Hundred Million people fighting for the right to buy a plastic widget at $10 off to exchange for love that they need but have little idea how to have, what market would there be for the exact opposite?  A few simple Christmas songs that take us back within a few cherished notes to a place far removed from what the holiday has become.  What WE have become?

IAs you maybe could tell, the first store didn't have the CD.  Or the second, or the third.  I have to say though, I have never been so happy to have such a hard time finding something.  Or to be able to purchase the very last one in the fourth place I went to find it. I couldn't help but think as I listened to the sounds of Vince Guiraldi, maybe we aren't all so bad off as "they" would have us believe. Today I think I may go try to find a Rudolph the red Nosed Reindeer CD.  Wish me luck.  Wish us all luck-- and love. We certainly need it. 

A Thanksgiving List

Being adopted; my family; my upbringing in a quintessential american suburb; the freedom that my parents gave me to learn about myself, grow, explore, and make decisions; the trips we made as a family- from roadtrips to vacations; airplanes; the fire service; MCL Cafeteria; The Shake Shoppe; Resch's Bakery; Friendlys; Indian Mound Smorgasboard; the surprise airshow when I was about 10; the teachers- Mrs Derr, Mrs Koslowski; Mrs Davis; Mr Anglim; Ms George; Dr Cox, and so many others; my crazy time at USF; Ritz Camera; The Ohio State University; The Dublin Ohio Police Department; The Truro Township Fire Department; the FDNY; CineMad Media; the first guy I dated; Axis; The Eagle; No Attitude; AWOL; the shamrock;  the Thurman Cafe; Stans; Heath Rowland; The Alumni Club; Box 15; COFBA; The All-Ohio Scanner Club; Cord Camera; Revco; Paul Tibbets; Mike Boucher; Eugene Naylor; Edna Marie Ceglia; Mike Esposito; Howie Hemsley; Mike Fox; Deidre Evans; Amanda Torissi; Valdo; Viktor; Carla Murphy; Anapoli; three jolly pigeons; Manny; Callum; ron & eric; julie & patrick; Alex; APCO; NENA; jacksonville state university; john Porcelli; henry dingman; jerry neville; excelsior; jack; gingers; Old town bar & grill; blue smoke; new years eve in times square; chris c; planeview park; the mounds; the Met; the New York Historical Society; Riverside Church; Rev Stephen Phelps;Lisa & Eva; Stacia; Stacey; Toms Restaurant; Toms Diner; the Shenandoah Valley; Roanoke; Key West; London; Provincetown; Maine; Savannah; Charleston; movies; documentaries; are you being served... My boyfriend Chris. 

And...Jack, Shirley,Holly, Matt, Emma, and Hannah (my family of birth). 

I would like to give a special shout out to the family I have picked up along the way: Natalie K.R.; Johann (& Jen) K.; Jennifer S.; Chris M, Chris M, Ed W.; Josh M, Doug V.; Eric G.; Tom O.;  Joe P; Allen D; Keith T & Erin; Todd P; Sheila HW; Melissa P; Sandra C; Marylou A; Deirdre E; Teresa M; Josh D, Brianna, Jim H; Brian; Crystal A; Cheryl C; ; Jenny H; Dana V; Michelle; Brian R; Courtney; Brian W,; Jamison; Mark R; Jay R; Kevin R; Michael S; Ryan S;  Zachary S;  Steven S; Yolanda W; Lisa F; Anna S; Rachel S,; Kevin M; Kimberly M; Ty W & Keri; Ashley H; Blake G; and Jeanne W.  I know I missed a couple, please dont be offended. But you should all know (named and unnamed) that when I start to question my choices or worry about the paths I have chosen and the decisions I have made, I always come back to this beautiful tapestry.  The story that has been my life and the amazing people who have helped me to create it.  There are many who have not been so blessed. But at every moment I have.  From a kindly stranger on a plane to a lifelong friend met in a firehouse or while taking photos of airplanes.  The people I have met have been amazing, beautiful, and a greater gift than any I could give to the world. Thank you all for being a part of this crazy adventure. I could not have done it without you. 

 Happy Thanksgiving and God Bless You all!

Something for my fellow "avgeeks"

If you know me for longer than ten to twelve minutes you know of my love for aviation. The fact that I didn't end up a pilot (yet...) is one of the few real regrets of my life. However, I am fortunate to have a passion that is shared by many and more than a few friends that I can "avgeek" out with.  For those of you that are fellow aviation geeks, or if you are looking for a great Christmas Gift for someone with an Aviation Obsession, allow me to turn you onto the work of Brian J. Terwilliger.   His most recent work, "Living in the Age of Airplanes", was released this year.  Narrated by Harrison Ford and scored by James Horner (R.I.P.) the film is a testament to the beauty, accomplishments, and possibility of Aviation.  You can watch trailer number one here and trailer number two here. A list of locations where you can see the movie is here. 

Hie earlier work, One Six Right, is a view of the aviation world through Van Nuys Airport in California.  It is available on DVD and would make an excellent Christmas Gift for the aviation enthusiast in you or someone else.  Take a look at the preview here.  

Dispatch Basics: "I hear voices"

      One of the most difficult things to teach new dispatchers is the importance of their voice, not only the words they use (or don't use) but the tone and speed of their speech. It goes without saying that a person's voice is literally their most critical tool as a Dispatcher.  Future advances in video and text to 9-1-1 not-withstanding, this will likely be the case as long as there are dispatchers.  Here are some critical issues to consider: 

"Radio and Phone Voice": To be effective, Dispatchers must develop a firm tone that can be used as an assertive tool on the phone and on the radio.  In this manner voice becomes a behavior modifier, getting excited callers to calm down and provide critical information, and letting units on the other end of the radio know that they have a competent and professional Dispatcher that they can count on (and that wont tolerate slacking from field units).  It was always amazing to me in the FDNY to see how quickly units started acknowledging runs; clearing off calls; and generally just operating better when a good radio Dispatcher sat down at the mic.  There are several styles to accomplish this, effective for slightly different reasons , but the point is to ensure that things work smoothly, information is passed, requests are responded to, there is minimal dead air, and a sense of confidence is expressed.  (Special shout out to George Munch & Jeanne Williams ret. FDNY as prime examples and great teachers on this topic) 

"Concise":  There are some dispatchers who do not know the meaning of this word.  Sadly, they try to convey any message in as many words as possible, rather than in as few as possible.  A prime example of this are redundant or unnecessary words used in Dispatch Messages:  "Engine-1, respond to 205 West Main Street, report of a dumpster fire." Everything that the fire department ever responds to is a "report of".  Why bother saying it?  Although this may not seem like a big deal, the price is paid when things get busy. The busier they are, the less time we have to give information and our everyday habits become the foundation of our actions.  Starting out with an ear on efficiency and effectiveness on the slow days means we will be more effective on the crazy days since we wont be trying to change our normal operation.  

"Hold on Speed Racer":  It is incredibly important for dispatchers to understand that the busier they are, the more determined they must be with their speech over the radio.  In many cases, this will mean forcing themselves to speak more slowly.  Although this can be counter-intuitive, the logic is pretty clear.  When its busy you need to make sure that your units get the information you need to share the first time.  It is not very effective under normal operations to have to repeat things, much less after the tornado has gone through.  Along the same line, it is also worth taking a moment to make sure that critical information has been received by the units.  Just saying "read your MDC" or making an announcement is not always the best way.  Especially if there is life and death information, get an acknowledgement that the unit(s) heard it.  This three-five seconds may help save the life of a victim or of an officer or firefighter. 

"Hot-Potato": Make sure that you are sharing critical information such as: Other incidents active at the same time in the same area (this gives responding apparatus the clue to look out for other responding apparatus); safety information about the building (prior threats to police, HazMats, etc); important comments in the incident history; delay of back-up units; etc.  The list is long but it is the Dispatcher's responsibility to help ensure the safety of responders and one way we can do this is by sharing what we know, when it is helpful.  Don't overload them with stuff. Understand that not everything is critical but when you have something that does matter, relay it and get an acknowledgement.  

"WHY wont they answer me?":  Understanding the operations side of an incident goes a long way towards helping dispatchers be better on the Radio.  At night, a fire engine will probably not be able to answer on the radio for a minute or two due to the time it takes to turn out of quarters. A Medic working a cardiac arrest may be a little busy to answer right away and a police officer at a domestic may be delayed in responding to radio messages.  In most cases, these are not reasons to panic, but the Dispatcher should be mindful of what impacts a unit's ability to reply immediately.  

"Looking like a Superstar" There is an "ebb and flow" of incidents and this is learned by Dispatchers with time on the job.  Understanding how this relates to Radio Communications is important, for it allows time to anticipate and  plan for the next course of action.  For example, a Dispatcher handling a fire for which ten calls have been received should not be surprised when the first arriving unit calls for a second alarm. Likewise when a police officer handling a house with a history of violent domestics calls for urgent back-up. 

Together, each of these concepts (and others) will help anyone be a more effective radio dispatcher.  The key is to learn from those who have come before; continuously improve your knowledge; and learn from the events you encounter (both good and bad) 

Dispatch Basics: Canceling Units

It may seem a common sense thought, but there are some agencies who are not permitted to cancel excess units on an assignment or to serve as resource managers. As many dispatchers know, it is not uncommon for enthusiastic fire or ems units to add themselves to calls, especially if the call sounds serious.  

But this can quickly lead to chaos, especiallly on busy days or when the dispatchers do not (or are not allowed) to tell units that they are not needed or can remain in service.  A related issue is when two units claim to be "closer". It is the dispatcher's responsibility to be judge and jury in these instances- with no chance of appeal. 

One important action that dispatchers can take, especially when units have added themselves is to cancel units that are farther away (this is where the CAD map plays an important role, along with situational awareness). Note, if units become available that are closer then by all means they should be sent- but as replacements, not additions. 

Many assume units self dispatching or jumping calls to be victimless crimes. Nothing could be farther from the truth.  Response times for the next incident in the area can be dramatically impacted if additional units are responding to a call where they are not required. In a job where seconds count, the added response time when a third or fourth due unit has to respond can have serious consequences. 

Watching Harry Potter

I can look back now and know a little better what went wrong.  I did not come to this realization by reading a book.  That little nugget will make my boyfriend smile.  There was no Newton's apple that feel from a tree and granted eternal or even temporary knowledge on its interrupted path to the ground. 

My realization came in, of all places, the middle of a Harry Potter movie. As I am told, it wasn't one of the better ones. It was number two.  Harry is determined to find the source of a voice that only he can hear.  It seems to come from the air, calling to him but no one else. Daring him to search out and get to the truth.  Saving the school and his friends and mentors is a mandatory element of the experience, and adds the mandatory movie drama. 

But what defines his quest is his ability to see and hear things that no one else can. I have been there.  Not while searching for a shadowy serpent in the walls of my school (thankfully), but in my own service as a leader.  The best leaders I have known have heard these voices too.  The things unseen that were good, that served as motivation, and provided direction.  Whether for a shift at a firehouse; an organization, a city or a world. 


Ironically, this same trait has been found in my dating life as well.  As many of my friends will nod at reading, I have made a career out of dating the possible future versions of people.  The ideal possibility that they could become.  The land of the present or of the real is of little worth to someone who can dream in great tapestries of roses, days exploring museums, reading books together, and flowing weddings with 500 guests in a church nave glistening in white satin candlelight.  Never mind that the person before was actually looking for a quickie, or a seven foot tall guy with a beard, or would rather be stung by 3,000 bees than spend more than seven minutes in a bookstore.  

Whether in love or leadership, the greatest not only see and feel that possibility and work towards it, they bring others around to hear the voice as well. They know that all matters of the heart take at least two to work.  That is the difference, between a crazy man who hears noises in the dark and a visionary who helps create something better than they found.  Getting others to come along too.  Harry was able to do this.  He has his close friends and, in this particular film, brought help to himself at his time of greatest need through the power of his faith and his loyalty. 

For me, this is where I have gone wrong and where many others likely do as well.  I can hear the voice, I can see the potential, and even the likely outcome, but too often my view is a solitary one.  But because I am so confident in my assessment, I think I can slay the dragon all by my lonesome.  That my victory will convince the doubters and the deniers that I was right all along. Maybe it will even convince the person standing beside me of the righteous path.  Never mind that they long ago go off the bus, if they were ever even on it in the first place.  

The truth, no matter how hard to admit, is that it does not matter what the end of that type of journey is,  if no one else understands why you are on it, the victory is hollow and shallow and temporary at best.  

So here's to the leaders that are good at getting others on the bus.  That recognize whats real and what's imaginary.  Here's to the times in our lives when we have been on the bus together, even if we didn't realize it or understand why.  And here's to a life of not just seeing the possible, but knowing what to do with the vision. 

Situational Awareness: A Dispatcher's Most Important Tool

It starts with a word problem: 

A call is dispatched for a building fire.  Three engines, two ladder companies, a rescue company, one medic, and a battalion chief are assigned.  An additional medic unit is in the area and adds itself to the call.  The initial companies arrive and report nothing showing.  At the same time, a call is received from an address around the corner from the address of the reported fire. Initially this call is for an unconscious person.  An engine and medic unit are dispatched from approximately four miles away.  A few moments later the call is upgraded to a cardiac arrest.  The fire is contained and two of the apparatus on the fire incident (an engine and medic unit) are flagged down by a civilian to help with the potential cardiac arrest patient.  They inform the dispatcher they will be operating at that location and go to work.  The engine and medic that were assigned are cancelled.  The call turns out to not be  an arrest.  

How would you (or your agency) have handled this situation? 

1. Exactly as described above 
2. You would have been alerted by your CAD that nearby units were available for a call (once the fire was contained) and they would have been dispatched? 
3. Your CAD alerted you to direct the 2nd medic unit to the higher priority call and assign the nearest available engine.  
4. You would have redirected one of the engines on the fire call along with the additional medic to the higher priority incident and replaced the third engine on the fire call.  
5. You have no idea what is even being discussed here and would like a pass.  

Some may think its never right to "armchair quarterback" an operational situation. While it is true that little good can come from criticizing people in retrospect, it is never wrong to take a moment and think about the type of dispatch SYSTEM that we are creating and supporting.  

Dispatchers must be given the authority and the training to permit good decisions.  The more information they have, the more training they are provided, the more authority they are vested with, and the more support they have for doing "the right thing"  the better outcomes we can expect from both them and our public safety services.  

In this case, depending on the information obtained about the fire, the best choice would likely have been to redirect responding apparatus to the high priority medical call. However, it depends.  Were people reported trapped in the fire?  Were there three or four calls for smoke or fire?  Or was it one call for a minor odor or smoke condition that was reported out and the fire dispatch was precautionary.  

It is in this capacity that Dispatchers should serve as resource managers, ensuring that the limited number of tools in the tool box are used the right/best way.  Thankfully, many CAD vendors can now support a more dynamic and empowered dispatch process.  This process is further encouraged by policies and procedures that are results oriented. And one where Dispatchers are supported for taking effective action and then best results are used to support training of other personnel.  

The Supervisor Challenge

One of the most prevalent issues in any 9-1-1 center with more than one or two personnel working at a time is the issue of effective Shift Supervision.  Often, the challenge takes the form of getting Supervisors to see themselves as in a different role than the people they supervise.  This is made incredibly difficult when the supervisor is also tasked with working a position and/or when the Supervisor is responsible for overseeing people they worked with as dispatchers on a frequent basis. 

Despite the frequency of this issue, there have been few solutions, however that doesn't mean that this is an impossible situation to overcome.  From my experience, there is a simple fix and it starts with getting everyone "on-the-floor" to not see themselves as different, at least in the ultimate reason they are there: to help save lives and provide the best possible service to the public and field responders. 

This approach starts with a redefinition of the roles inside the center.  Rather than seeing Supervision as only the responsibility of one single person who has passed a test, been appointed, or been selected, the roles of Supervision and Leadership should be seen as everyone's responsibility.  From their earliest days on the job, new Dispatchers should be trained on effective supervision, why supervision is important, and what she or he can do to help run the floor in a more effective manner.  

For example, if new personnel are trained (and assessed) on their performance in: Admin Phone; 9-1-1 Phone; Radio; EMS Dispatch; Fire Dispatch; Law Dispatch; Support Dispatch; and Basic Supervision/Leadership; then they have a much better understanding of the roles played by each member of the team.  If policies are written to encourage team performance and, to a limited extent, team accountability, then everyone has organizational support to see themselves not as an island, but as part of an overall group of professionals.  

The next logical step would be to have Dispatchers on a shift rotate a "lead Dispatcher" type role that may serve as an Assistant Supervisor.  (Likely after the completion of their probationary period).  In this way, every member of the shift would take turns seeing things from a supervisory prospective, with responsibility for problem solving, crisis resolution, and related tasks.  For many reasons, the traditional supervisor may need to be retained, but the ultimate goal would be for the person in that role to be able to serve in a largely oversight capacity, developing each member of the team to have skills at all roles on the floor, including supervision.  

In case you are wondering about whether or not this would work, I can tell you from my own experience that it does.  In FDNY, dispatchers served in the "lead" position (known as Decision Dispatcher) as soon as six months after completing initial training and, with effective mentoring and supervision, this helped develop exceptionally skilled personnel.  

Maybe it will not work for everyone and it certainly requires a different approach and mindset, but it can pay significant dividends to bridge the divide between the different roles on the floor and encourage everyone to help solve the supervision challenge. 

What Really Matters

I will confess I was extremely excited about watching the political shows this evening. Eager to hear about the reactions to Donald Trump's rants; Dr Carson's "stories", and how we will wver make it to the Presidential Election of 2016. 

Leave it to the world to show us yet again that this is serious business. Leading the United States and by extension the Western World is not a game. It demands seriousness, understanding, intelligence. I know that anti-intellectualism is strong. That so many people feel that just anyone who can scream loud enough, be angry enough can serve in the role of President. That there are trends away from understanding the complexity of the world and how to operate effectively in it.  

In the face of this tragedy, let us be reminded just how wrong this view is.  The world is not a game. It should always be clear, maybe even more so tonight as we pray for the people of Paris and for our own continued safety.  

Important Things

I think I was 13 years old when I stomped my feet and said I would never go back. For some reason Mom and Dad didn't try to fight or argue.  There was just a resigned acceptance.  And from that moment in 1987 until 2012 I did not darken the door of a church for a regular service. 

The coincidence that 13 was the same age where I really started to feel I might not be like everyone else is not lost on my present day understanding of my historical religious revolt. But if it was part of my decision, it would have been in asubconscious  way.  The same manner in which you sometimes know not to order the salmon no matter how good your friend swears it will be. 

And so I did not go. Except for funerals and weddings.  That is one reason people come to fear church so much. Like a hospital, they come to associate it only with the darkest of days, which are more obvious in terms of funerals but often the ultimate truth about weddings as well. My experience was the same. 

Until a late winter Sunday in 2012 when I found my way to the pews of Riverside Church in the Morningside Heights section of Manhattan.  I was not fully familiar with the history of the church,  but I knew it was open and affiriming. I suppose I went there for a thousand reasons, not the least of which was to begin to know myself a little better.  To gain some understanding of the why and what for that I was missing. Maybe it was also to in some way make it up to my Mother for that stomping so many years before. She who had been gone seven years by then physically, but not more than seven minutes or so emotionally on that day or any other. 

More than that even, I went to test a theory. One that had been my tool for self acceptance when I slowly emerged from my closet in the late 1990s.  I truly believed that God created me.  All of me. Just they way I was and am. And that perhaps one reason for me being who I was created to be was to play some role in showing the world the wonder, mystery, and diversity of God's creation. That, far from being an affront to God, any person who lives up to their creation and calling is a reflection of God. A belief that if you live a life of love, tolerance, acceptance, forgiveness and faith you reflect the best of what we can be. And, by extension and expression, show the world a better path. 

In the pews of Riverside Church, on that day and those that would follow, my theory was validated. I will be forever grateful to the staff, clergy, and congregants of that church for helping me along my path and proving to me that Gods love is eternal and total for all of his children. That there are still so many who do not know this truth, that there are so many who do not grasp the pain and hate they sew with their words of venom towards those they do not understand but whom God created, that is one of the tragic realities of our time. I pray that it will ease with greater understanding, but more so I pray that those who only see the darkness of Faith used without Love will come to know the real truth and the possibilites of God that are beyond the bile, blame, and fear.  There is another way. A better way.  

This week marks the 85th anniversary of Riverside.  I will not be able to attend the celebration, but I know that I live that celebration each day.  My only regret now is that my Mom didn't ever make it to church with me. But I suspect that, in truth, she was there with me every time

Hopefully, no matter what your particular faith or belief system, you can find a place that supports your spirit. Its an amazing gift to find your way home. . 

Why I am not a fan of video games (or casinos)

It has been a good week.  I have actually managed to get up on time.. twice!  Go for a nice walk each day before work, get some sunshine and take another walk before bed. My FitBit has rendered its verdict with a nightly moment of buzzing affirmation as I hit my assigned 10,000 steps in 24 hours on, count them, TWO days in a row!   

More beneficial than the physical activity has been the spiritual experience of getting outside to start the morning off in a space without a phone or email.  With whatever I walk by or see to serve as inspiration, motivation, or a reason to shake my head in wonder (or confusion) at this crazy beautiful world.  

Today offered two such extremes.  In one corner, the Canada Geese performing day two of their migration.  For reasons I do not fully understand, great diamonds of geese have been flying northeast over Saratoga Springs each morning.  Always on the same heading, always about the same time. Some are small groups, maybe three birds.  A few are much larger, numbering in the dozens or hundreds. Some are perfect Vs, with minimal honking, soaring gracefully while other formations look quite amateur like.  These aerial bands of mall teenagers are completely out of order, struggling to keep it together, and continuously squawking to each other.  I imagine those to be the younger birds, those who just don't have it all figured out yet but who have to try.  They have no choice.  To survive they have to figure it out, to get better, to come together. Their future success will be revealed in the quiet beautiful grace of nearly silent flight that will lead them to wherever the approaching cold demands that they go.  They are not there yet.  But they will be.  

And on the other hand, "I can't wait till (video game I can't remember the name of) comes out- I will like be playing that from when I wake up to when I go to bed" said the young woman holding a child like an extra large bag of potato chips as she walked passed me in front of the post office.  It was clear that the video game she was about to commit to in a way she has likely never committed to anything else in her life was the priority, the purpose, the reason for her to get up on at least one day of her life.  I suspected that it wasn't the only day that her motivation was found in pixels on a screen. I wondered if she ever said those words about the child she was slinging around while making sure her phone conversation continued.  I prayed silently in hope this was her nephew.  Or someone else's child that she was babysitting.  Even though I knew it was not.  

I know it is wrong to judge.  But it is not wrong to question.  Above me moments later, animals that are considered such lesser life forms struggled to find their way in a communal flight that will likely take them thousands of miles.  A journey that not all will survive.  While down below, we with responsibilities, destinies, purposes, friends, families, and a world to change for the good find a million ways to derail our journey before it even starts.  Some, it seems, don't even know there is a journey, or even someplace to go.  All things in moderation, I suppose.  But we also owe it to ourselves and to each other to at least try and avoid the flashing lights, the bottles, the noises, the fear, and the anger that can take us so far away from any knowledge of why we are where.  What we are doing.  Where we are going.   

How smart those geese really are.  I bet they don't even know how to play a video game.