Every year. Every single year. I checked, so you can trust me. Every year I have written down the same resolutions. Five years running. Or is it ten? You know what they are. Yours are probably the same. The vast majority of them are about doing less of this thing or that thing. Stopping this other thing all together. Trying to lose the other thing. Always the same. Blah blah. It is almost as boring to type as it is to read. And the kicker is all this writing, all this resolving, it does not do any damn bit of good.
And so we now come to what I am trying to do in my life. Not just because its 1/1/22 and a great excuse, but because I have reached the point of being pissed off about the things I love to do that I do not do enough of. And that is my "resolution", more! Simply one word: MORE!
Let me get just a little bit preachy here. Every species on earth is evolving out its differences. Over time, natural selection is ensuring less variation in almost everything you see. Except for humans. Somehow, even though there are more of us than ever before, we are still unique. Every one of us a specific human with certain characteristics which have never been repeated before and never will be again. But why? Wouldn't it make sense that over time we all become about 6 feet tall, smart about the things which help us survive, and missing the traits that take us away from our potential? Or is that exactly what is happening and our humanness just gets in the way of our being HUMAN with all capital letters and living into the best of what that means?
So, this is my goal today. This hour. Not on a list for me to check off (the hidden love language of all Virgo ENFJs) but rather to lean into and strive for. I want to do MORE of being the human I have been made to be. The unique one of a kind soul in a body that is Christopher Blake Carver. The only one who will ever be. (A fact which some people are no doubt quite thankful about...) MORE of the things that bring me peace and pleasure, somewhat closer to sanity, and in alignment with the people and places that help me know joy. More of what brings me closer to God. More of what brings me closer to me.
What does that mean in practice? It means more grace and kindness for others and myself. It means more writing and photographs. It means more diners and road-trips and museums. It means more talking to strangers and finding new friends in crazy places. It means more thinking and reflecting on what works and what does not. It means more loving in every sense of the word. It means more cuddling with my partner. It means more time with my Dad, Sister, and Nieces. It means more physical activity and more eating quality food that helps me have the energy to do all this.
I am absolutely not going to focus on cutting things out. That does not work. That just causes a loss of focus and a long decent into the headspace where nothing gets done but generating fear, regret, and ulcers. Nearly every guru, leadership consultant, and late night talk show sage says at some point we should focus on what you are good at and stop fighting the parts that don't work right. Just move right past them and stay as much as you can in the spaces which work, whether physical, mindset or both. Well, lets give that a try shall we?
So here we are. My list. More of the good stuff. Perhaps with more of the good, it will crowd out some of the bad. Or maybe it will just put me in a better place to deal with the bad when it comes. Whatever it means, I think this is the best possible evolution into the most unique and special kind of human, the one that is me. And if you can do more of what it is that fills your spirit and soul, maybe you can evolve towards the better version of you. And maybe if we all could do that, so much of this crazy dengue fever that plaques our world would break just a little.
Wouldn't Darwin be proud.
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