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Welcome to my site and thank you for reading. After many times thinking, if only I had a blog, well-- here we are. This blog will feature writings on a variety of topics from roadside food, to leadership in the fire service; politics; culture- gay, straight, and indifferent, my experiences in Ohio, New York and beyond; and much much more. It's my hope that you will find it interesting and that it stirs at least some thought and discussion. I am certain you wont always agree, but that is what its all about right? Oh and one more thing:

The views expressed on this site are entirely my own. They do not reflect in anyway the views or positions of my employer (s) and should not taken as official policy of ANY organization with which I am associated. Reading or sharing any post from this site shall be taken as an indication that you have read this disclaimer and understand it.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Well here I sit

These are really annoying times.  Sitting here in a great place, lots of things on my mind to write, but nothing is coming out.  Well, its coming out, but only in pieces, kind of like popcorn, but each kernel a different color that doesn't match the last.  Somewhere in the recesses of my brain lie the following:  A column on planning for and responding to large scale disasters; a Column on Public Safety Management trends; a column on effective planning for organizational transformation of public safety dispatching centers; and probably an article or two for some magazine (maybe the advocate?) on what its like being an out gay guy in the FDNY. 

Down deeper, in the cavern where the bats live and little light goes, lie the books.  Scattered on the floor of the cave..some with covers: "I shaved my head for this"- a story of dating in the 21st century sorta gay metropolis; "Walking with Dinosaurs- lessons in Public Safety Management"; and maybe a collection of poetry or two, or perhaps a book on photography. 

But like an infant in a crib, all I can do is eye as the mobile of my ideas twirls about, just out of reach except for brief moments where.. straining ever so hard... I can just... touch... the edge... and then... its......gone. And again here I am left with my ideas.  Just like the infant, left to wonder, now what. 

I guess I will stare at the keyboard be reminded yet again of my greatest challenge-- of all the great ones.  Patience.  Whether for a column or finanical security or love.  Things come on their own time-- when they are ready to appear, not when, stammering and holding my breath, the arrive out of a my sheer determination to make them happen.  No, things dont work that way do they.  Instead we must simply do the right thing-- live in our moments and not sacrifice our present to our memory or our expectation.  Whatever is in this moment is good and perfect and just as it needs to be.  Even for the frustrated writer who feels he should be doing so much more. 

I never really noticed till now, the music on the mobile is kinda cool.. maybe I will just lay here and listen.

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