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Welcome to my site and thank you for reading. After many times thinking, if only I had a blog, well-- here we are. This blog will feature writings on a variety of topics from roadside food, to leadership in the fire service; politics; culture- gay, straight, and indifferent, my experiences in Ohio, New York and beyond; and much much more. It's my hope that you will find it interesting and that it stirs at least some thought and discussion. I am certain you wont always agree, but that is what its all about right? Oh and one more thing: The views expressed on this site are entirely my own. They do not reflect in anyway the views or positions of my employer.



Saturday, July 22, 2017

The Posts of an Unhappy Man

Jesus tells us point blank. 
He could not be clearer. 
Be as children. 
This doesn't mean put gum in your sisters hair. 
I do not think it means hold your breath until you get what you think you want. 
From a lover. Or employer. Or roommate. 
It doesn't even mean decorate the newly white walls of your room with magic markers.
Think of the child's reactions to where we put our grown-up thoughts. 
Think of the child's reaction to our fears.
We gently tease them about there being no monsters under their bed. 
No bogeymen in the closet. 
And then we throw away a love, a future, a possibility:  
For a fear of: nothing. 
For a memory tying us back to a situation long departed, that never was as strong in the imagined. 
a place nowhere near as perfect as the pages of our adult coloring books make it out to be. 
We stride into unhappy jobs. 
We fail to appreciate the real. 
We rage at demons no more true than a dream. 
And for what. 
To pat ourselves on the back. 
To rest secure in our busy, adult filled lives. With their serious tones and elite status and reservations and performance evaluations. 
All the while secretly longing for something we used to have and have forsaken. 
The free laughter 
The never ending giggle
Love without expectation or bullshit or the taint of what has come before. 
Life. Simple. Childlike. Divine. 
And a lesson of who we need to be. 
Who we must be again if we are to truly know-- 
What is real. And what is just another monster under the bed. 

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